real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
