But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
