I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I looked at my own cervix.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize