I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
