she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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