Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
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Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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