I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
