Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
