We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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