Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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