Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
