heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
