you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
