You don't have asthma, your pregnant
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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