he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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