You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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