Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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