just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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