There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
