I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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