dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
