Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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