dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my phone needs a breathalizer
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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