I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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