Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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