i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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