I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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