how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
