I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
