This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
