a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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