Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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