genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
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Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize