With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
