I wish I only lived at night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
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Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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