I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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