if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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