I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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