If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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