If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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