Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
