i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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