So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it