she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.