I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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