she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
