Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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