dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize