We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
