I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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