he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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