My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
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