it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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