Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
