we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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