I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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