Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
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