my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize