wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
