is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
